I am about 4 days away from starting my final year of medicine. It has been a long way to come. When I started this journey, I was worried that I was not learning enough, that I didn't have enough brainpower left after a decade of fun... now I worry about more mundane things.
When will I start work?
When will I start making money?
Remuneration for doctor's is respectable, but not what the general public envision. I will not make the amount of money I dreamed of as a kid. I will make more than most are able to.
I heard a horrible thing today. One person went to university with student who referred to the poor as the "great unwashed".... I don't want my children to grow up that way. That is a poor excuse for a human being.
Perhaps not even human.
Monday, 27 January 2014
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
Fleeting Memories
I grew up in a close family. We would always have dinner every Sunday at my grandmothers, a nice lovely lamb roast, or perhaps a fried rice with meatballs as a side dish. We would have Christmas all together, a big family of 20+ relatives all ensuring that they kept the days around Christmas spare, as well as making an effort to see each other on the actual day. I remember these times fondly, as it would be a chance for me to see the parts of the family that I didn't get to see as often.
I was particularly close to my Uncle and his sons. I grew up with them. I looked up to them. They showed me how to tinker with computers, to question authority and to behave badly. It was real good fun.
When I was about 19 it started. My cousin had gone to a GP and been described antidepressants for an episode that I now realise was prodromal for schizophrenia. He had begun to 'see things' in patterns, and had begun to think of himself as other-wordly. It was a strange time. I remember thinking to myself that this is a bit odd -- perhaps he drinks a little too much. Except it only got worse over time. When I was 21, he embarked on a journey of repeated admissions to psychiatric facilities that has continued now for a decade.
He has good days, and bad days.
Schizophrenia is a horrible condition. It strikes people in their adolescence, at a time in their lives when the 'world is their oyster'. That's just an awful time. It's when a lot of people find their identities through meaningful relationships, employment and education. It destroys people's potential.
Mental illness is something that I am only beginning to understand. I thought that most things of this nature could be overcome. What I have seen in the last few months, convinces me I am wrong.
Some people may still be alive, but they are shells of what they once were.
I was particularly close to my Uncle and his sons. I grew up with them. I looked up to them. They showed me how to tinker with computers, to question authority and to behave badly. It was real good fun.
When I was about 19 it started. My cousin had gone to a GP and been described antidepressants for an episode that I now realise was prodromal for schizophrenia. He had begun to 'see things' in patterns, and had begun to think of himself as other-wordly. It was a strange time. I remember thinking to myself that this is a bit odd -- perhaps he drinks a little too much. Except it only got worse over time. When I was 21, he embarked on a journey of repeated admissions to psychiatric facilities that has continued now for a decade.
He has good days, and bad days.
Schizophrenia is a horrible condition. It strikes people in their adolescence, at a time in their lives when the 'world is their oyster'. That's just an awful time. It's when a lot of people find their identities through meaningful relationships, employment and education. It destroys people's potential.
Mental illness is something that I am only beginning to understand. I thought that most things of this nature could be overcome. What I have seen in the last few months, convinces me I am wrong.
Some people may still be alive, but they are shells of what they once were.
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Ruminations
I'm not sure I like GP. It's very family friendly, great hours, decent remuneration and quite varied.... the problem is, I just don't see it being very interesting.
Sure, there are the pulmonary embolisms, myocardial infarctions and major psychiatric disturbances walking through the door... the problem is that you just refer them on.
Got a cold or flu? Come back in a week if it's still there. Then I'll refer you to hospital.
That chest pain bothering you? To hospital you go.
What about that knee? -- I know a good orthopod.
General Practice is your everyday doctor. Being the every day doctor really appeals to me. The problem is, the doctor that you need every day doesn't do the stuff that really interests me.
High blood pressure? Have some tablets.
Prostate checked this year? I've got some gloves.
Your cholesterol is a bit high. Exercise and eat better.
I'm conflicted at the moment. I start my professional clinical life in 1.5 years (if I pass!). Which way shall I go?
Sure, there are the pulmonary embolisms, myocardial infarctions and major psychiatric disturbances walking through the door... the problem is that you just refer them on.
Got a cold or flu? Come back in a week if it's still there. Then I'll refer you to hospital.
That chest pain bothering you? To hospital you go.
What about that knee? -- I know a good orthopod.
General Practice is your everyday doctor. Being the every day doctor really appeals to me. The problem is, the doctor that you need every day doesn't do the stuff that really interests me.
High blood pressure? Have some tablets.
Prostate checked this year? I've got some gloves.
Your cholesterol is a bit high. Exercise and eat better.
I'm conflicted at the moment. I start my professional clinical life in 1.5 years (if I pass!). Which way shall I go?
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
The sky is the limit
At times, you wonder where you will get in life. As a child, I dreamt of the all the places that I could go, all the people meet, and all the money I could make. As I got older, those dreams changed over time, but they always stayed large. I, like a lot of kids, had dreams of being an astronaut, a pilot or a volcanologist. I never recall wanting to be a doctor though.
The interesting part of being a doctor, is that depending on the culture and society you live in, it is a fairly highly respected profession. Sure, that respect is going downhill in recent years, but people listen to what 'the doctor' says.
So what made me want to be a doctor? To be a 100% honest, it was a few things. None of them grand, or altruistic. I wanted to people to listen when I talk, and I wanted them to do what I say. Not everyone of course, just those who had ignored me in the past.
Now when I dream, it is all about medicine, and where that will take me and my family. It seems for even poor doctors, the sky is limit there.
The interesting part of being a doctor, is that depending on the culture and society you live in, it is a fairly highly respected profession. Sure, that respect is going downhill in recent years, but people listen to what 'the doctor' says.
So what made me want to be a doctor? To be a 100% honest, it was a few things. None of them grand, or altruistic. I wanted to people to listen when I talk, and I wanted them to do what I say. Not everyone of course, just those who had ignored me in the past.
Now when I dream, it is all about medicine, and where that will take me and my family. It seems for even poor doctors, the sky is limit there.
Saturday, 18 May 2013
Monday, 13 May 2013
Crazy things
I really am enjoying my psych knowledge at the moment. The problem is, I'm not sure I will enjoy psych patients. I had a patient the other day, who was rude, abusive, and generally very unpleasant. I'm pretty sure there was a solid underlying psychiatric illness, but I just can't shake the feeling that somehow I've done something wrong by not having empathy for that person. I was annoyed.
A lot of people in my family are crazy. Diagnose-abley crazy. I have a lot of time for them, and I think I can see where they are coming from a lot better than others in my family who are not so gifted. Why then, am I not feeling it at the moment for crazy patients?
I guess we shall see.
A lot of people in my family are crazy. Diagnose-abley crazy. I have a lot of time for them, and I think I can see where they are coming from a lot better than others in my family who are not so gifted. Why then, am I not feeling it at the moment for crazy patients?
I guess we shall see.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Finished up
So I finished my rotation in OBGYN today. It wasn't exactly the most wonderful experience I could have had. A friend of mine told me that midwives were colloquially referred to as 'madwives', and frankly, I can't really argue with that. Childbirth is a special time in a woman's life. She is bringing a special little person into the world who wasn't there before. It is simply, amazing.
Cue the midwife. Who basically takes over the whole experience, and decides on things that aren't really discussed with the woman beforehand. Midwife doesn't like artificial rupture of membranes --> tells the mum it is bad for her --> mum tells the doctors she doesn't think it's a good idea.
That is a general theme which continues throughout the whole labour. Midwives make decisions, because they know better. Even if they don't.
As a student on an obstetric ward, you are supposed to actively find births. I have struggled with this. Bringing muffins, doing scut and being generally nice doesn't get you births. Being a midwife students gets you births. Being a medical students means you are an 'interloper'.
Originally, OBGYN was on my list of favoured medical specialties. I would love to be part of the special experience of bringing babies into the world.
I am unwilling to deal with the crap that's involved however.
Cue the midwife. Who basically takes over the whole experience, and decides on things that aren't really discussed with the woman beforehand. Midwife doesn't like artificial rupture of membranes --> tells the mum it is bad for her --> mum tells the doctors she doesn't think it's a good idea.
That is a general theme which continues throughout the whole labour. Midwives make decisions, because they know better. Even if they don't.
As a student on an obstetric ward, you are supposed to actively find births. I have struggled with this. Bringing muffins, doing scut and being generally nice doesn't get you births. Being a midwife students gets you births. Being a medical students means you are an 'interloper'.
Originally, OBGYN was on my list of favoured medical specialties. I would love to be part of the special experience of bringing babies into the world.
I am unwilling to deal with the crap that's involved however.
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